Interracial Relationships- Are Black Men/Women Hypocrites?

Last week Singer/Actor/Godiva chocolate man/Sexy as hell Tyrese Gibson,38, made an announcement on Instagram that he had got married on Valentines day. Gushing that ‘God had answered his prayers and sent him everything in a woman that he had asked for,’ he included ‘I got #My Black Queen.’ When I read ‘Black Queen’ I said to myself, ‘he has added this because he knows that his fans which are mainly black women, are going to have an issue with his wife as she is of mixed heritage and doesn’t ‘look’ like the average black woman.’

I was proved right as the black lash came thick and strong, the comments on the blogs were on FIRE with women full of rage saying, ‘she is not a black queen as she isn’t even black’, ‘Tyrese is a coon’ (sell out), ‘he puts out posts on social media preaching to and advising black women but didn’t marry one.’ Some even went as far as to say that his record sales are going to go down as his fans are no longer going to support him.
His wife Samantha Lee’s heritage also became the million dollar question. Some said she was from Dubai others said she was a Latina. It has since been confirmed that Samantha is of African-American- Ecuadorian and Jamaican heritage. Tyrese due to the uproar, has since deleted the post.


I have read a lot of comments from black men complaining that black women are hypocritical in regards to interracial dating. Many have commented that when a black woman dates out of her race it’s ‘relationship goals’ but if they see a black man with a non black woman he’s a sell out and full of self hate. If a black female celebrity had posted a picture with her mixed race husband and wrote #My Black King, I don’t believe she would have received the same reaction that Tyrese had. I am sure that the majority of the women who had an issue with Tyrese calling his wife black, have no problem calling the former President Obama black, even though he is mixed race.


Personally, I have noticed that black women are more accepting of other black women being in an interracial relationship. For a long time, we have seen many black men date out of their race. As a woman it can make you feel that your own race of men have a preference which is not you. There are also a lot of black celebrities we never see with a black woman or may have previously been with one but after becoming famous and wealthy, only date women of a different race. A lot of black men also ‘blame’ black women as to the reason why they date out of their race and sometimes will make derogatory comments towards us which contributes to a back lash. Black women tend to date within their race and if they date out they don’t usually have a list of reasons why or blame anyone. I do understand how this can come across as black women being hypocrites but black men are just as hypocritical.

I recently read an article about successful black women who are in relationships with white men, the article featured Nicki Perkins,26, a beautiful Sudanese Model/Vlogger with her husband Jamie. In the comment section a black guy asked if they were married and then stated that ‘Black women ain’t shit.’ When I read his comment, I asked myself, if a black man had been pictured with a white wife, would he have said ‘black men ain’t shit?’ I personally don’t think he would have.

Nicki with husband Jamie

I remember once a few years ago, going into a hair shop and the Indian guy on the till started flirting with me trying to chat me up. I wasn’t interested but we started to have a conversation. Two black guys were also in the shop separately, looking at products. Whilst talking to the guy at the till, I noticed that both guys kept turning and looking at me as if they were annoyed. It got to the point where they both looked at me, looked at each other and shook their heads in ‘disappointment.’ I felt that their reactions were over the top and uncalled for. If they had watched another black man chatting up a woman of a different race would they have had the same reaction? Why is it different for me?

It seems that not all but some guys have the view that it’s ok for them to date out of their race but do not hold the same view for the women. I was once standing outside of a train station talking to a guy that I knew and I noticed a couple walk past. The woman was black and her partner was white. The guy that I was with screwed up his face and said that he can’t stand seeing a black woman with a white man. I said to him ‘but you have a child with a white woman?’ he didn’t care and said it still bothers him.

In life you can’t help who you fall in love with, who ever you choose to spend your life with should not be controlled by the views or reactions of other people. I also believe, that both black men and women can be extremely hypocritical towards each other in regards to interracial dating. I feel that the relationship between both sides has been damaged for various reasons and there are issues but the fact that both sides are very passionate about the relationship choices that both make, shows that underneath it all, we do have a lot of love for each other.


1 Comment

  • Tanya Royes March 13, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    I still can’t believe he hid her for so long from the press! Congrats to him and well written article. Let’s all love in peace -sheesh.


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