Standing Up

Standing up has different meanings for me. The first is standing up for yourself through adversity and continuing to push through the obstacles that you are facing. Whilst pursuing my dream working in the media, I have had plenty of doors close in my face. For a long time even though many people suggested doing my own blog, I held onto the idea of working for someone else until, I finally decided to ‘Stand up’ and make my dream a reality. Through working for myself, I can create using my own ideas on what information I want to present to the world, on my own terms which is amazing to me.

The second meaning of standing up, is speaking up whenever someone does or says something to disrespect you. Defending yourself against negative comments is another important life lesson that I have had to learn, often the hard way.

Whilst growing up I had a lot of people around me that were very blatant and would often tell people what they thought of them- me included.

I was quite outgoing but had a shyness to my personality, I went to an all girl’s secondary school and experienced some bitchiness but not as much as people would think, considering I spent most of my time around hormonal young women.

When I left school and started college, I had the shock of my life, I was out in the harsh real world, where people had no issue saying what they thought. Through college and then going on to work, I had people that really liked me but even more it seemed, that didn’t and seemed to enjoy verbally letting me know with rude, negative comments.

If I’m honest, as much as there have been times where I have stood up for myself, there’s been too many times where I haven’t. I’ve had situations where I’ve felt that it wasn’t worth the argument and other times been shocked at the comment to the point of not knowing what to say. Another thing that I have done in the past is to have someone making comments that were negative and I let it slide the first few times-until they say something again. My frustration would overflow and the ‘victim’ has felt I’m sure the most anger that they have ever experienced in their life (verbally, not physically).

I haven’t exactly been an angel myself, like I stated before, I grew up around people that were very blatant and it definitely rubbed off on me. I have had to forgive myself for some of the hurtful comments that I have said in the past, not knowing any better. I’ve even wondered if some things that people have said to me have been karma because of my previous actions.

Negative things that people have said affected me for a long time, where I had to work through my issues and build myself up. I once had a situation where I felt disrespected by someone in front of a group of people. I later calmly asked the person why did she act in that manner? She expressed that she didn’t mean to upset me and asked why didn’t I say anything at the time?

I’ve found that whenever I haven’t expressed myself it leaves me feeling annoyed with the situation and with myself, even years after it’s happened. It’s made me understand that it doesn’t have to be an argument or a huge confrontation, but you should always express how you feel whenever you feel disrespected by someone’s comments or actions and always stand up for yourself.

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