Doing It Alone

A few years ago my life was very different. I lived in a small studio flat- a really small studio flat, smaller than some people’s bedrooms. I was desperate to leave but due to being unemployed, it just wasn’t possible. To try and escape my circumstances, I would sometimes meditate but even better than that (so I thought) I had a group of friends that I would hang out with and at first it seemed to be a blessing.

Fast forward a few years and things have definitely changed, I finally moved out of my small flat but had to move in with my mother to have a roof over my head. Some of the friendships that I had has unfortunately ended, I say unfortunately because for me personally, when I allow someone into my life, I value them and view them as part of my family. You share a part of your life with friends, they are a witness to the highs and lows of your life and they know some of your deepest secrets.   

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At the same time I would say that the break ups of these friendships were fortunate for me because, you need people around you that have your best interests and want the best for you. Not people that have issues with themselves and in turn project them onto you. I got to a point where I put my feelings first and decided that I would not put up with disrespect from so called ‘friends’.   

There’s been many times when I have been at home, feeling bored and sometimes lonely, having less people around me. But it has made me focus on myself and my life, I go to the gym and look after my body, I pray and meditate daily to look after my mind, I also read a lot of spiritual books. The people that are still in my life, I have stayed in touch with because I know that they are true friends, even if we sometimes don’t see each other often, I know that they are only a phone call away.

One day after I had finished meditating and reading, I suddenly realised why God ended these relationships. Sometimes in life we have to be alone for God to work on us, in order to mould us into who he intended us to be. I now look back and realise that these friendships ending was a blessing because it gave me the space I needed, to work on bettering myself and best of all to be the person that God intended me to be-Amen. 

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